Mother’s Day is coming~! Next month ne. I’m excited for it cos it’s also my mother’s birth week most probably. I haven’t checked the calendar actually. I want to give her a gift. I have something in mind and maybe some cheap flowers for Mother’s Day. In the past, I was not really vocal during Mother’s days because I’m shy and it’s actually complicated. But now, I want to change that.

I can’t believed I haven’t been tending to this site for a month… ever since I got sick. I actually don’t know what to talk about and I’m kind of not in the mood but I’ll write something up more.

I think I’m basically OK now but I admit I still feel something – like a floating feeling. I usually feel it when I’m lying down but I also feel it sometimes when I’m sitting or standing. I don’t feel it when I’m moving so I just exercise now like taking a walk or playing Kinect on Xbox 360.

To be honest I want to go to the doctor again but I don’t want to bother my Floyd or my mother. Bother in a sense that I don’t want to give them more worries.

I don’t know if I’m going to write here again soon. But I’m at my other domain these days, fixing things. Right now, I have like 100+ posts to edit to match it with the current theme.

Sometimes, no actually most of the time – especially recently, I wonder what the heck am I doing with my life. I feel like I should be doing something else instead of wasting my time and energy. I don’t know… For example, recently I get annoyed when I’m doing house chores. Especially when Floyd/BF-I-live-with emphasize that it’s my job as the “lady” in the house. I admit it’s because I usually don’t want to do it but there’s also the pressure I’m feeling everytime he states my responsibilities.

Living together is sure a big thing and to be honest, I kinda want to give up.

Then there is also my mother-thing. I feel guilty that I left my mother for my boyfriend. She raised me because she wants to be with somebody (me) and I feel like I failed her and I feel guilty that she’s now kind of alone. She visits us here from time to time and I feel bad because my attention’s not 100% into her when she’s here. Well, for me, I think we don’t have much talk about and being together with her is enough for me.

I’m afraid that we’ll loose our connection eventually. I don’t want that.